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Archive for Journal

Silver Linings

They say cancer changes you. It took me awhile to comprehend that… for the longest time I really felt no difference in my life. I was OK, I got sick, I got better – and it all seemed like nothing more than a bump in the road. It’s been exactly 1 year today since I completed my chemo/radiation protocol, and with that length of time behind me I can honestly say that I AM changed, and my life HAS been forever changed.

You know that I believe God’s word, which tells us that He works all things out for the good of those who love him. Throughout the storm, I held on to that promise, and now I can tell you that this horrible experience has brought blessings, blessings that have manifested themselves in a variety of ways that are affecting my health, my wealth, and my impact on the world.

Health

Interested in Paleo? I recommend this book – chock full of info & lots of recipes.

Earlier posts have chronicled my struggles with addiction to sugar and flour, and even contain resolutions to end the insanity and stop eating foods that are known to cause and feed cancer. I was a junk food junkie, I got cancer, I know that eating junk food can increase my chances of having cancer again – healthy eating is really a no brainer, right? Sadly, it’s always easier to want to do something or to say you’re going to do something than to do it, and I fell short on this promise many times after my public declaration.

I’m finally able to say that I’ve been eating a Paleo diet for over 6 months now. The changes in my life are miraculous!

  • More energy
  • Zero migraines (huge for me…)
  • Better mental focus
  • Freedom from cravings
  • Sense of control over my life
  • Lost 20 pounds (yay!!!!)

And of course, more important than any of the wins listed above, decreased chance of disease. This food thing has been a monkey that I’ve been trying to get off my back since I was a teenager – and I’m finally free!

Wealth

I’ve always been an advocate for medical marijuana, and as a result of this cancer have become very knowledgeable about the healing properties of CBD oil. It has the health benefits of marijuana without the high, and it’s legal in most states and helping countless people get relief from pain, disease, insomnia, and depression/anxiety. I once had a doctor advise me to use marijuana every day because, in her words, it “kills cancer”. In fact, a family friend is being treated at Moffit Cancer Center and her doctors are using CBD oil as part of her treatment plan!

My husband and I will use CBD oil every day for the rest of our lives to ward off cancer, and I have joined a direct sales company that sells CBD products. I’ve done affiliate sales in the past, never made money, and had absolutely sworn off the industry – but I felt that something was very different with this business, and I was right. This is a product that everybody needs. There’s a huge buzz about it now, as people begin to realize that CBD is not marijuana, and there’s no longer a stigma surrounding the subject. Even the federal government has seen the light, and Congress just this week passed the 2018 farm bill which recognizes that hemp and marijuana are not one in the same, and will declassify CBD from the federal controlled substance list.

This business is On Fire, and in less than 2 months I’ve had more success than I’ve had with all of the businesses I’ve been in (over a dozen… ugh!!!), combined. I’m seeing a good friend, who was in the same boat with lack of success, create solid income (and have her car payment paid by the company), and I’m right on her heels! I believe 100% that this business will produce the financial freedom that my husband and I have been seeking!

If you’d like to learn more, order CBD oil, or join my team please visit http://kjhemp.com or contact me on Facebook. I’m obligated to tell you that if you order or join my team I’ll receive compensation – but last time I checked it’s OK to earn money!

Impact on the World

I’ve tried to use my experiences with cancer to help uplift and enlighten people through this blog, and hope that in some way it’s helped you and others. Several months ago I was asked to co-chair a Cancer Support group at my church, and struggled with a fear of commitment. I’ve always asked God to use me for his purposes – so I’m ashamed to admit that it was a difficult decision for me. Through careful consideration and prayer though, I decided to accept the invitation, and have become part of a brand new support group designed to help cancer patients, survivors, and family members. It’s small right now but I trust that it will grow in time to reach a large number of hurting, confused people.

Then there’s the CBD oil, which is changing peoples’ lives in a major way! The testimonials are nothing short of incredible, and it’s heartwarming to be able to be a part of helping others find relief from problems that have completely destroyed the quality of their lives. I recently received the following text message from a neighbor who purchased oil for a friend with cancer:

“I wanted to let you know that my friend is having AMAZING results with the CBD oil. She’s had pain in her back where they removed ribs for MONTHS that it’s relieved for her. She wants to order more so I’m going to send her the link.”

Tears…. to have been a part of something so beautiful – and to anticipate many more messages just like that!

By the Way…

As you can see in the picture above, my hair has completely grown back and is now shoulder length, curlier, and thicker than ever!

Birds Eye View

Hindsight is 20/20. Do I want to sign up to have cancer again…. NOOOO! But I can tell you that His promises have been true and that good things have come to me as a direct result of this difficult time in my life. Whether you’re experiencing disease, family issues, a financial crisis, or any of the all-too-long list of painful life situations, I hope that you can always believe that you, too, can come out on the other end stronger and in some way better for the pain.

 

God bless

Why so Much Suffering?

I know, it’s been a very long time since I posted here – for many different reasons. I felt like I wasn’t reaching, or touching people. I got on track with my goal of improving my nutrition, then fell off the wagon again, and was embarrassed. And I got lazy. Honestly I’m not even sure how devoted I am now to picking this back up – but I’m taking things 1 day at a time and today I feel led to share.

 

Easy Come, Easy Go, Easy Come

As you probably know, a little over a year ago I was shocked with a diagnosis of breast cancer. It came out of “nowhere”, but today I’m happy to report that a recent mammography returned normal results. Maybe my header isn’t all that accurate. It sure did come on easily but it wasn’t an easy road back to health. In any case I am healed, thank you Lord, and I plan to remain cancer-free for the rest of my days.

But, as easily as it came on for me, and just as things were getting back to “normal”, it has recently claimed my husband as a victim.

 

Upside Down

If you’re a fan of “Stranger Things” (and probably even if you’re not) you’ll understand what I mean when I say it feels like we’re living in the “upside down”. Our roles completely reversed, I’ve now become the caretaker and my husband the patient. It’s really not fair, because I make a far better patient, and he makes a far better caretaker. But regardless of fair or not, here we are dealing with this “thing” all over again.

Except it’s much more intense this time. His treatments are far more difficult. Whereas I had chemo first, followed by radiation, he’s having them both at the same time. And he has pain – a lot of pain – in his throat and is unable to eat, getting nutrition through a stomach tube. He’s had 3 (outpatient) surgeries and (minor) complications. So yeah, he wins in the suffering category. And that’s the extent of the power I’m giving to negativity.

There is good news. Artie only has 2 more weeks of radiation (and 1 round of chemo), after which his oncologist will re-evaluate to determine if additional rounds of chemo will be necessary. If you know me, you know I not only hope but believe for the best – and I’m believing for a positive report. Cancer free, an end to chemo, and 4-6 weeks for him to recover from the treatment.

BAM!!!

 

Why Us, God? 

The classic question, right? As Artie has said though, “why not us”… Difficult questions but a few thoughts and observations:

Once again we’ve seen a tremendous outpouring of support and love from family and friends. It’s an incredible testimony to the power of love in our lives and in the world. It gives us hope and helps us to see what’s really important and what isn’t.

I sometimes think that I walked this road first for a reason. We each have an understanding of what the other is going through and are able to be more empathetic towards each other. And he can see that what he’s going through is only temporary. There is hope.

In confirmation, I came across this today as I read,
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
1 Peter 6-11

Powerful stuff, that reinforces what I’ve been feeling…

 

Something Big

Even though I have no idea what it is, I feel like there’s something big and wonderful for us on the horizon. It brings me peace and joy, even on the bad days. And as we hover in this holding pattern for now, there is amazing stuff going on all around us. The proof is in the pictures…

 

 

Peace

There’s a lot of hurt out there, and a lot of people wondering, ‘why me’. My hope is that, if you are one of them, this post will touch you and help you to find a sense of peace in the storm.

 

 

A few pictures from our son Derek’s college graduation and commissioning into the Army as a 2nd Lieutenant. Awesome stuff! BTW is there any wonder why he’s been nicknamed “Derek Smiles”?

Until next time…. be well!

Winds of Change

Day 151

Although summer officially faded into fall over a month ago, the change wasn’t felt here in Florida until this past weekend. As I sat out by the pool on Saturday there was a new and welcomed feeling in the air; crisp temperatures accompanied by a beautiful breeze.

As the gentle breeze caressed my face I became quiet in my soul, hearing my inner voice whisper that it was time…. time for the winds of change to bring me into a new season. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I was done with chemo and about to start radiation. It had been 3 weeks since my last treatment and the side effects I’d been experiencing for the last several months were beginning to fade away. Finally I was feeling better. Not great, but definitely on the mend.

In order to benefit from new and anticipated changes in our lives, we’re often required to take on new responsibilities, a truth that is clearly evident today.

Why today? Because it’s Nov 1, the day I had decided on weeks ago, the day I would begin to take responsibility for my choices. As I’ve shared in previous posts, my eating habits have always been bad. Simply said, I don’t eat the foods that are good for me, and most of the foods I eat are bad for me. I’ve tried to change this over and over but seem to end up in the same cycle of success followed by failure that motivates me to jump back into “trying” to do better.

Well here I am again, vowing to get back on the wagon. Yes, I’ve failed over and over, but as with all things, I will never, ever give up. I hope and pray that this time it will “stick”. I most certainly have a clearer sense of motivation for taking care of my body. Chemo sucks, and I never, ever want to go through it again. I know that health and diet go hand in hand, and I know that cancer feeds on sugar. Enough said…

Fortunately, I know that I don’t have to do this alone. Philippians 4:13 tells us that;

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”

and I can and will rest on that promise – one day at a time.

In love,

A New Era

Day 142

My husband and I have been blessed with 2 boys who’ve always been respectful and good hearted. They followed the rules and rarely needed to be disciplined. Still, parenting can be a nerve-wracking experience. Read More→

A Request

Day 138

Breast Cancer Awareness Month


Read More→

Letting Myself Go

Day 129

Today is one I’ve been dreading – round 6 of chemo. My experience was so bad with round 5 that I often told myself I couldn’t go through it even one more time, but here I am….. literally sitting in the infusion room.  Read More→

Good News, Bad News, and The Important News

Day 105

The Bad News

I can’t believe it’s been over 100 days since I started this whole chemo “thing”, but indeed it has. I always like to get the bad news out of the way first (kinda like vegetables), and have to just get real for a minute. Read More→

Medical Marijuana – Get the Facts

Day 98

Medical marijuana – most people have an opinion on the pros and cons of this controversial drug. For many people, the mention of this subject conjures images of stoners abusing the system in order to get high legally. Over the years  an increasing number of states have legalized cannabiss for medical use, which indicates that the public is beginning to recognize this as a legitimate option. Read More→

The Aftermath

Day 90

Hurricane Irma blew through our end of the world last night, with 75 mph winds and some crazy rain. As the winds howled, I couldn’t help but keep an eye on the large, swaying oak tree that threatened to deliver massive damage to our pool cage, and to continually pray that our home would not be flooded. Read More→

The Calm Before the Storm

Day 88

Things are getting crazy here in Tampa, as we prepare for Hurricane Irma. In our 9 years of living in Florida we’ve managed to dodge every hurricane threat put out there but it looks like Irma is the real deal. Read More→