I know, it’s been a very long time since I posted here – for many different reasons. I felt like I wasn’t reaching, or touching people. I got on track with my goal of improving my nutrition, then fell off the wagon again, and was embarrassed. And I got lazy. Honestly I’m not even sure how devoted I am now to picking this back up – but I’m taking things 1 day at a time and today I feel led to share.
Easy Come, Easy Go, Easy Come
As you probably know, a little over a year ago I was shocked with a diagnosis of breast cancer. It came out of “nowhere”, but today I’m happy to report that a recent mammography returned normal results. Maybe my header isn’t all that accurate. It sure did come on easily but it wasn’t an easy road back to health. In any case I am healed, thank you Lord, and I plan to remain cancer-free for the rest of my days.
But, as easily as it came on for me, and just as things were getting back to “normal”, it has recently claimed my husband as a victim.
Upside Down
If you’re a fan of “Stranger Things” (and probably even if you’re not) you’ll understand what I mean when I say it feels like we’re living in the “upside down”. Our roles completely reversed, I’ve now become the caretaker and my husband the patient. It’s really not fair, because I make a far better patient, and he makes a far better caretaker. But regardless of fair or not, here we are dealing with this “thing” all over again.
Except it’s much more intense this time. His treatments are far more difficult. Whereas I had chemo first, followed by radiation, he’s having them both at the same time. And he has pain – a lot of pain – in his throat and is unable to eat, getting nutrition through a stomach tube. He’s had 3 (outpatient) surgeries and (minor) complications. So yeah, he wins in the suffering category. And that’s the extent of the power I’m giving to negativity.
There is good news. Artie only has 2 more weeks of radiation (and 1 round of chemo), after which his oncologist will re-evaluate to determine if additional rounds of chemo will be necessary. If you know me, you know I not only hope but believe for the best – and I’m believing for a positive report. Cancer free, an end to chemo, and 4-6 weeks for him to recover from the treatment.
BAM!!!
Why Us, God?
The classic question, right? As Artie has said though, “why not us”… Difficult questions but a few thoughts and observations:
Once again we’ve seen a tremendous outpouring of support and love from family and friends. It’s an incredible testimony to the power of love in our lives and in the world. It gives us hope and helps us to see what’s really important and what isn’t.
I sometimes think that I walked this road first for a reason. We each have an understanding of what the other is going through and are able to be more empathetic towards each other. And he can see that what he’s going through is only temporary. There is hope.
In confirmation, I came across this today as I read,
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
1 Peter 6-11
Powerful stuff, that reinforces what I’ve been feeling…
Something Big
Even though I have no idea what it is, I feel like there’s something big and wonderful for us on the horizon. It brings me peace and joy, even on the bad days. And as we hover in this holding pattern for now, there is amazing stuff going on all around us. The proof is in the pictures…
Peace
There’s a lot of hurt out there, and a lot of people wondering, ‘why me’. My hope is that, if you are one of them, this post will touch you and help you to find a sense of peace in the storm.
A few pictures from our son Derek’s college graduation and commissioning into the Army as a 2nd Lieutenant. Awesome stuff! BTW is there any wonder why he’s been nicknamed “Derek Smiles”?
Until next time…. be well!
What a story. What a testament to faith, understanding and love. I remember our conversation from a few years back when you reached out to me in faith, and that had a powerful effect, a healing one. Your reaching out now will spread love and refuel you simultaneously. If you still have A Course in Miracles and have the inclination, please read Lesson 109: I Rest in God. In every moment of strife, discord, grief…all those fears, it has brought me and those around me, to peace. I am going to read it this morning for you and me and everyone who needs a reminder to Trust. Sending you and Artie all I have I give. Love, Suzanne
Thank you Suzanne. Of course I still have A Course in Miracles and will definitely check out that lesson. A good one to keep close at hand. Artie and I greatly appreciate your love and support and that of our entire NH community.